Same old same old

I'm starting to wonder if I can ever ever ever be happy with my career. I think the answer is simple - NO. When I don't have a job I'm complaining that I don't have enough money, that I'm eating into my savings, that I can't do all the things I want to because I don't have the money to do it.... and so on and so forth. When I do have a job I'm complaining that my feet hurt, my job sucks, about people and what they do that annoys me and makes me have to do double work... and so on and so forth.

So after a long and fruitful conversation avec the wise people with whom I confide in..... my Yodas (I do have many) I have come to the conclusion that it is all in my head. Either way I have a lot that is making me happy instead of unhappy...

1. Since I do have a job... I'm happy that I make enough money to do most of the things I want to (if not more).
2. My job does come with the opportunity to meet great people! For a small time exec I've met more people in more departments in a few months than I have met in an entire year in university. And the thing is... these people are pretty amazing. Very helpful, generous, FORGIVING, funny, welcoming.... and so on and so forth... !
3. My job has decent hours, so I still get to have a life outside of work.
4. I don't have to drive to work! wooot...
5. I've met a couple lazy girls like myself who have decided to utilize our state of the art gym at work... (ok la they started without me la... but in my defence it is cos I have meetings at the last minute la! :( I know I know... excuses.)
6. I'm saving all my time off to either be free when William visits OR to go visit him in London/France.
7. I'm on track for my long term goal of moving to London, starting my own business and enjoyng my life. :)

*ok... crazy long self motivation piece done. On to my picture diary of Canada - because I'm nostalgic. I don't know why I keep dreaming of Canada. Why don't I remember how cold it was? WHY??

My fav boy and I went to the Calgary zoo! And despite having seen a gazillion tigers before, I had to put this picture up because of how CLOSE we were to the tiger. Pretty good for our tiny point and shoot camera.
My cute Red River Hogs. Can I have one?? The baby hogs were wrestling in the mud, and the mummy just ignored them. So adorable la!

Lookey at the kuala. He's so cuddley!

This pig was my fav! One of the 3 pigs being taken for walks because too many people feed them and they become super fat. This one just sits down and refuses to walk after a while... reminds me of Wiggles.

Look at the horns! How does he walk without toppling over and landing on his face?

A moose! :)

And this made my day! The baby deer just walked right up to me and let me pet it. AW...

This handsome boy walked right up to me and let me take a picture with him! I know I'm going to get scolded for putting up this picture because he doesn't think he looks nice in it.... (till then... it's going to stay up!)

This path was 'Canadian shrubbery'. WOW...

And this is an Alpine meadow? Really?!

The zoo does win points for having gorgeous flowers! It does make me regret not going for the Tulip festival. It just seemed too flowery... for lack of a better word.

But Tulips are really beautiful! I don't like them in bouquets but grown like this they are gorgeous!

More tulips! GORGEOUS!

And I don't know how that helped me. Going through the pictures made me miss Canada even more. SIGH!

Church? No church?

I don't know if I'm Catholic anymore.

What does being Catholic mean?? I go to church every Sunday. I pretend to understand what's going on and then I forget about it the rest of the week?

The initial reaction to me marrying a Catholic boy (I mean isn't France like so Catholic??) was that we would have a big church do. I think my vision of a marriage involves me walking down an aisle. But what would it mean? Isn't it pointless when I don't believe in what they are preaching?

Is there a church where the only thing I have to do is believe in God, live a life doing my best to treat others justly, and cherishing what I am blessed with? Let me know. I wish to convert to that form of belief.

I believe so strongly in my God and that there is a higher power guiding me through this life, but I don't believe in religion. Does it really need to come hand in hand?

On a lighter note... I MISS CANADA! I forgot how quicky the cute yellow ones grew into these ugly grey fluffballs. I bet they can't wait to grow into handsome geese!

Ces't tout!

It is true I copied this off someone's wall in facebook. I couldn't resist.



The same is true for men. muahahaha!

22 days my love!!

<3

No, I wanna fall in love.... with you

LDR's jade you. They make you think life is hopeless, feelingless, void of comfort and meaningless. Not mine....

One of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make, was the decision to come home. I wouldn't dream of deluding you into thinking that I had a fantastic life full of opportunity in Canada, because I didn't. Canada just rode the death wave of America's into possibly the worst economic situation I've ever heard off. Doors just kept slamming shut... I was lucky I had a job at all. So... logically, I should just go home. Malaysia (although offering me a salary less than what I would make part time - minus conversion- in Canada), offered me relevant experience. London, offered William the same.

Now... not so very long after we said our tearful goodbyes to the land in which we met... we both have jobs and hectic lives. I wake at the crack of dawn and am only home at sunset, and then it's off to meet friends or spend time with my family. Weekends I drive myself and Wiggles to visit my parents, OR drive to all ends of the city meeting (and eating with) my many many many dearly missed friends. William on the other side wakes before dawn and leaves AFTER sunset to get home (one wonders why anyone chooses to do finance....), 'messes-about' with his friends, goes back to visit his family on weekends, and in the middle of all that he squeezes in time to study for his professional papers.

STILL... we talk at least 2 times a day. We have a dedicated 'date' night... and we're always the 1st people we say good morning to and the last people we say goodnight to. And despite being in timezones that force us to either wake up brutally early or go to bed insanely late in order to grab a quick..'hello! how was your day?' we do it.



This song, playing over and over in my head and on my mp3 player reminds me of my favourite man. And despite not knowing what the 'real' lyrics are.... I choose for them to be... "I wanna fall in love with you".

-xoxo-

Rambles ...

I think I've changed. I feel I have. Maybe it's just age?

I used to be a wide eyed dreamer. I used to be crazy.... I had to get the best grades, go to the best schools, get the best jobs. My achievements were what drove me. I just wanted to do my best. At the time I thought I was that way so I didn't have to regret anything later on. That I always did my best...

Hmm... In that sense maybe I haven't changed much? I still want the best, but in different things. I want the best job... which lets me spend my working time doing something I love, and at the same time lots of time with my family and friends. I want the best relationships... I think I'm investing more now in the people I love, instead of the things I want. And yeah... I still am an overachiever, a workaholic, a drunk for power....

BUT

Pic... the view from my hotel room in Penang from when I took William to meet my grandad. :)

I don't crave things anymore. (ok maybe shoes... sigh. I'm a sucker for Christian Louboutins). I no longer envy people in powerful positions, great careers or with entrepreneurial drive. I no longer wish to be like them with every fibre of my being.... I once used to.

Maybe I am just happy. For the 1st time in my life... I feel no want. I am content... truly so.

Without a doubt.... yes!

My last few days in Canada... :(

Angelface (William) and I decided to spend our last few days in Canada in gorgeous Vancouver. We decided on a old historic home that was converted into an inn. It was a 2 minute walk from Kitsilano shopping & dining, was a 5 minute walk from the beach and was the most beautiful inn ever! We even had our own private kitchen.

Our room was beautifully decorated, with antiques and old English decor. I fell in love with it immediately. I felt bad turning down the sheets to go to bed, but in the end jumped in because I was exhausted.

Whale watching was the 1st thing on our self made itinerary. We were so lucky we saw about 12 Orca's - also known as killer whales. They were easily bigger than the boat we were on but so adorable! They obviously have a strong bond with each other, swimming together and playing. We got to see them jump out of the water, poke their little heads out... and their favourite thing... tail slap the water. :)

A lot of our time was spent walking along the beaches, the parks and the gardens... just taking in the scenary and enjoying our relaxing holiday. Here's a view of Vancouver from Stanley Park.

We drove around a lot too, taking in the city. Vancouver is a beautiful city with its old historic buildings, state of the art achitecture and tree lined streets.

We spent an afternoon at the Vancouver acquarium. Were we got to see three very cute dolphins perform for us. We also heard their sad stories... they live in the acquarium because of serious injuries that would hinder their survival in the wild.

I have a new found love for jelly fish. Did you know there were so many different varieties and so many different shapes and colours? If they weren't so deadly I'd like one as a pet.

On the final day we went to a Chinese classical garden. Right smack dab in the middle of the city was this oasis of peace and calm. This would be the place where a nervous, and tongue tied boy pulled out a diamond ring and asked me to spend the rest of my life with him. It was sudden, and my reaction of staring blankly at him probably made him even MORE nervous and tongue tied.

The rest of the trip was spent in much the same way as before, lazing, lazing and more lazing. Why do more when the views are so breathtaking and the company such perfection? We live for moments like these...

Two months later, I'm missing my angel who is preparing London for me. Meanwhile I just took a picture of my ring via webcam because the camera is in London too!!

Now I spend my days looking at dresses, and flowers, and venues, and colours... Everytime getting more and more excited. Everytime glad that I said yes...

Morning - Last day in Banff

I think we knew we were going to miss Canada, so we did take a lot of pictures of the Canadian flag. Couldn't my country's flag be simple like this? I remember trying to draw and colour the Malaysian flag as a kid and always gave up with the bintang 14 bucu! GRRR...

I already miss all the gorgeous, well looked after and restored old buildings. This was one of the many churches in Banff. For a small tourist town it really did have a LOT of churches.
Banff's city hall. Are all city halls this gorgeous? To this day I have no idea what they do in there.
Postcard view from Banff's city hall. If you go all the way straight down that road you will reach my hotel! :)
The only thing I don't miss is the menapausal weather. For instance... our ride up the funicular. At first it was raining like nuts... But the three of us insisted on going on the ride because it was part of our tour (means I already paid for it so I'm sitting on it even though the weather is crappy), AND because we couldn't go up another day because it was our LAST day. *sobs*

Halfway up it stopped raining. *JOY*

And then it started snowing. At one point it became a blizzard.... so the 3 of us decided we had had enough and took the ride down. IRONICALLY... it was sunny in the afternoon!
I miss wild animals. I've seen so many cute animals over there.... each time shreiking in delight and trying to befriend them while William watches in horror. Once he put his foot down and said.. NO NO NO... when I wanted to befriend a couple of skunks. In my defence, skunks are REALLY adorable in real life. Maybe if you had them as pets, you could train them to only stink spray people you hate! :) Point is... i miss Canadian wildlife. :(


Isn't he handsome? I think in my past life I was an animal. That would maybe explain my irrational and sometimes crazy love for them. That being said... I still eat meat. I think that makes me a hypocrite.

What I miss most may just be torturing the people I love. I'm the hyper one so I'm constantly thinking of places we haven't been to and that we should ABSOLUTELY see, no matter how far we have to drive/ walk/ bus/ train. These are the victoms of my torture having a good time after being forced to go everywhere. *hearts*

Me Mommah...

Me Mommah wondering if she can get onto the ride fast enough....
Me Mommah being a poser with me.

William!! I really miss this French boy... oooo... update. He went to London for 2 weeks on a mission to look for an apartment to stay in there and to sight see. Instead he got a full fleged job and an apartment to stay in and is now frantically getting ready to start work on Monday! Lucky bum. *proudest even!* Sigh. I feel down suddenly. I miss frenchy who is in London, miss mommah who is in PD and I miss Canada who doesn't really have a choice but to be in Canada since it is a country after all. GEEZ...